worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
