i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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