What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
When are your genitals available?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
