I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
