There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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