Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
