This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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