idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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