Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
