gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
