yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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