he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
