I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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