wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
