It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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