At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
