I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
