Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
