I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
