Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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