We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
