i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the day after is always just damage control
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize