And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
His nipple licking is glorious
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