oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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