I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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