what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You took a bar mat shot.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
