if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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