I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize