Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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