Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
