he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
