They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
