I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What drink are we having for lunch?
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theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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