allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
