READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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