My pussy is not your playground.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The adults are the big ones right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize