If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
