Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize