i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize