"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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