Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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