If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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