I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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