At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
