Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize