i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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