doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
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I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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