This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
