I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
