That's intense
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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