You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
A+ Viking dick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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