i jhust puked up my retainher.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
