yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
