I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
