I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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