He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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