You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
